Studs, Stumps and Spikes

Consorting with the Enemy

Posted on April 8, 2012. Filed under: The Wolves |

My daughter has taken what I consider to be the wrong path in life.

Many parents dread their child becoming a drug addict, or running away from home or falling in with ‘the wrong crowd’.

My daughter has decided to support West Bromwich Albion. So as a lifelong Wolves fan and a devoted father what is a man supposed to do? Well, unlike my Wolves’ supporting eldest child I can’t bring myself to take her to games on a regular basis. However,  I suppose sacrifice is part of parenthood so on 7^th April 2012 I voluntarily went to The Hawthorns to see Albion play Blackburn Rovers.

This is the story of my day behind enemy lines and my attempt at an objective look at the differences in the matchday experience from my regular visits to Molineux.

I am deliberately keeping away from discussing the actual football . I think it best at the moment.

1.       Getting a Ticket

I regret to report that WBA’s online ticketing is much easier to use than is Wolves, despite the fact that the websites are essentially identical. At  www.wolves.co.uk  you need to be a member and the much discussed £1.50 booking fee per ticket apply.  At www.wba.co.uk you simply click and buy. 1-0 to the Baggies it seems.

2.       Getting to and from the Game

Only 10 mins on the train to the convenient Hawthorns Station but much waiting round for the train to actually come as opposed to a variety of ways to get to Wolves, given it is in a city centre and free parking if you know where to look as opposed to  WBA being miles from West Bromwich Town Centre. Parking at the Hawthorns also seems at a premium and much evidence of £5 car parks and being boxed in. Come to think of it I might give this to the Wolves. 1-1.

3.       Amenities around the ground

I think even the most die-hard WBA fan would be prepared to concede that there isn’t a lot to do in the environs of The Hawthorns. Us Wolves fans are well blessed with a choice of pubs and eating establishments, given Molineux’s city centre location. Some of the more civilised amongst us even take Tiffin at Costa, Queen Square. WBA 1 Wolves 2.

4.       Pre Match Atmosphere

I think football clubs don’t exactly set the bar high on this one. Ever present loud muzak, orchestrated ‘get behind our boys’ messages and obligatory roll calls of sponsors and mascots paying for the privilege seems about standard. So given they also fall into some of these traps a qualified ‘well done Albion’ here. They have video screens which play some reasonable music, such as Joy Division’s Love Will Tear Us Apart and to their eternal credit (though for the life of me I don’t understand the origin) they allow the crowd to sing ‘The Lord is my Shepherd’ rather than dirge some kind of prog rock anthem out of the speakers. WBA 2 Wolves 2.

5.       A sense of ‘place’

A bit of a weird one this but I have to say this is what strikes me most about The Hawthorns. It may be coincidence but I was acutely aware I was in the Black Country due to the ‘commercial feel’ of the day. I saw ads for Bathams Ales and this Black Country Tee Shirts company as well as liberal sprinklings of Black Country phrases throughout the programme…things you just don’t get at Wolves. I think it’s really important that a club conveys who it is and what community it represents.

Of course I am well aware that Albion fans would claim that Molineux isn’t in the Black Country in any case to which I might counter that half your ground is in Birmingham. Anyway if we can accept that both are actually ‘Black Country’ clubs only Albion seem to refer to this on occasions outside of the Black Country Derby. WBA 3 Wolves 2.

6.       The Official Programme

If sense of place was a ‘bit weird’ this one is just ‘plain weird’. Frankly I have never read anything like the current WBA matchday programme and I am not sure whether this is a compliment or a criticism.

Firstly, there is pseudo ‘football as religion’ theme running throughout with the programme being called ‘The Book of Albion’ and ‘The Gospel According to Albion’ as well as articles including ‘To Build a New Jerusalem’, ‘The Shining City on the Hill’ and ‘Leaders of the Faith’. Not quite blasphemous but I would imagine a minority of Christians would find the taste a bit questionable.

Secondly, the quality of some of the articles is frankly, outstanding, and wouldn’t be at all out of place in a quality Sunday newspaper. A column entitled ‘Voice in the Wilderness’ is only a thinly veiled attack on the Premier League and supporters’ unrealistic expectations. An astonishing piece to be carried in a Premier League Club Programme, I think.

But then, thirdly, and I admit I am looking at this through Wolves’ eyes, the programme also veers towards the worst bits of fanzine culture, and particularly in the way it refers to Wolverhampton Wanderers. Referring throughout to the club as ‘Wolverhampton’ rather than ‘Wolves’, claiming Wolves play ‘over the border’ in Staffordshire, as ‘orange men’ as  ‘the most statuesque defence the world has seen since they dug up the Terracotta Army’ etc are all good quips I guess but also smack of disrespect. I can accept stuff like that in a fanzine but I don’t think they belong in a club programme.

So all in all a bit of a mixed bag…a far more ambitious undertaking than Wolves’ usual ‘Gaffer’s Column’, last week’s match, today’s opposition etc but it reads less like a programme and more like a footballing equivalent of Private Eye. I can’t believe the football club actually sanction some of the material in the programme.

Incidentally the concept behind this year’s Albion programme is explained on the WBA website at http://www.wba.co.uk/page/News/0,,10366~2420929,00.html

Impossible to score this one…still 3-2 to the Baggies.

7.       The Ground

Similar capacities, both with the traditional ‘main stand’ being very close to a main road and with huge car parks behind the opposite stands, Molineux and The Hawthorns have more in common as grounds than either set of fans might care to admit. Albion do have the edge in spectator comfort, given wider concourses etc as The Hawthorns was redeveloped a little later than Molineux. I also like the fact that the exit stairs run parallel rather than towards/away from the pitch which means that you don’t have bottlenecks caused by the pie eating hoards. But for all the religious like devotion to ‘The Stripes’ I just think there is nothing like ‘gold and black’ (or even ‘orange’ if you must) for looking visually stunning. Blue and white seats are ten a penny so on aesthetics alone Molineux has to win this one…3-3. Final Score.

I am not sure when I will be able to stomach another visit to The Hawthorns. Fair play to the natives, as fellow Black Countrymen they were mainly quite civilised. I am not quite sure why they kept singing about Burnley mind, who as every Blackburn fan will tell you are ‘the Dingles’.

Going to a football match and not supporting your team is an interesting experience and certainly an eye opening one.

Keep out th’oss road.

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